A baby alligator sits on top of its mother’s head in St. Augustine Alligator Farm, Florida
Picture: John Moran/News Dog Media (via Pictures of the day: 16 April 2014 - Telegraph)
that would make the funniest fucking story ever. Due to a mix up at the factory, the template for incantations that was supposed to a publishing company of dark art books is sent to a feminine products factory. Girl then accidentally summons Satan with period blood. Satan gets confused because its “dead blood” and when he shows up he realizes the sacrifice was done incorrectly so he cannot take the girl’s soul but now is bound to do her bidding because oops his bad, he showed up anyway.
My 5-year-old insists that Bilbo Baggins is a girl.
The first time she made this claim, I protested. Part of the fun of reading to your kids, after all, is in sharing the stories you loved as a child. And in the story I knew, Bilbo was a boy. A boy hobbit. (Whatever that entails.)
But my daughter was determined. She liked the story pretty well so far, but Bilbo was definitely a girl. So would I please start reading the book the right way? I hesitated. I imagined Tolkien spinning in his grave. I imagined mean letters from his testy estate. I imagined the story getting as lost in gender distinctions as dwarves in the Mirkwood.
Then I thought: What the hell, it’s just a pronoun. My daughter wants Bilbo to be a girl, so a girl she will be. And you know what? The switch was easy. Bilbo, it turns out, makes a terrific heroine. She’s tough, resourceful, humble, funny, and uses her wits to make off with a spectacular piece of jewelry. Perhaps most importantly, she never makes an issue of her gender—and neither does anyone else.
"I’m studying music therapy. I just finished observing a music program for children with disabilities, and I’m taking notes."
"So what’s something you observed?"
"Many of the children had some form of autism. And it seemed that playing music together gave them the satisfaction of contributing to a group and forming relationships, without the pressure of having to speak or maintain eye contact."
My uterus is really punishing me today. Ow ow ow.
I find it very disheartening that the news coverage of this James Franco story is that he “flirted” and “chatted” with this 17-year-old girl instead of calling him out for what it really is: being a predator. He very clearly tried to have sex with her and was well aware of her age. This is is not, as he called it, “a model of how social media is tricky,” and the media not calling him out his inappropriate behavior is really giving me all the rage today.
He literally asked if he could book a hotel room for them. What the hell does the media think he wanted to do in said hotel room, bat his eyelashes and play footsie?
Motherfucker wasn’t tryna take her to the damn sock hop and then to the diner for malts.
Go fuck yourself, Franco. You disgust me.
I’m having trouble getting on board with this one. Advances towards a 17 year old are predatory? Do you remember being 17? Jesus Christ, there was no relief from my torment. I wanted more than anything to get laid by an older, experienced guy who actually knew what he was doing. I would have thrown myself at a guy as good looking as James Franco if he had shown interest. Also having consensual sex, as in what the term actually means as opposed to what the law says a 17-year-old brain is capable of, with a guy twice my age when my age was 17, would have been awesome and empowering (in a new strut in my step kind of way.)
Statutory laws are far from perfect. High school seniors are frequently arrested, convicted, serve time, and labelled as sex offenders for the rest of their lives when they turn 18, having started a relationship with a younger person when they were 17 or younger. The girl in question was turning 18 in little over a month. This is not controversy, this is bullshit.
The age of consent in New York, not Nevada, not Kentucky, not Arkansas, but New fucking York for fuck’s sake, is 17. Exactly how much can a person mature emotionally from 17 to 18 to make them more able to understand a decision that has the potential to leave them emotionally scarred? Maybe people think it’s gross because the younger person is not emotionally mature and childlike in that way. Fair. Valid. Is it gross because the person still has a child’s body? FUCK NO! That is not true; a person at 17 essentially has an adult’s body. If both parties are on board because there’s chemistry, and the person is 17, maybe even 16, I truly don’t believe the government has any business here. Sex-ed, sex-ed, sex-ed. Teach adolescents about sex, teach them about relationship dynamics, provide guidance, but ultimately they must be free to make their own mistakes, because THAT’S HOW WE LEARN.
TL;DR, give me a fucking break, this is not a big deal.
I had a few movies that I literally made my mom banish to the closet because they were so traumatizing, this and Black Beauty were among them.