humansofnewyork:

"You can make about 75% more money with a cat on your head than you can with a cat on your shoulder."

humansofnewyork:

"You can make about 75% more money with a cat on your head than you can with a cat on your shoulder."

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choochoobear:

tastefullyoffensive:

If Disney Princesses Were Actually Sloths by Jen Lewis

Previously: Nicolas Cage as Disney Princesses

Give unto me.

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thefrogman:

iguanamouth:

WHERE are they getting this stuff !!

By Lauren [tumblr]

(Source: mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

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(Source: foxadhd.com)

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The vacuum brings us together. “Why’s he doing that? It’s so loud. I’ll hang out with you on the bed.”

Text tagged as:
etchpea:

g-go me

etchpea:

g-go me

Photo tagged as: reblog - Reblog from etchpea

It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to say “That was shitty of you”. You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.

Unknown (via ohteenscanrelate)

Quote tagged as: reblog - Reblog from wilwheaton

merichuel:

So… I decided to make a mini iron throne for my mobile phone. A couple of hours, loooots of swords and hot glue

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humansofnewyork:

"Every time I get a job, they’re like: ‘Do this now.’ And I’m like: ‘I don’t want to.’ And they’re like: ‘You have to. It’s your job.’And I’m like: ‘Oh yeah. Shit.’”

humansofnewyork:

"Every time I get a job, they’re like: ‘Do this now.’ 
And I’m like: ‘I don’t want to.’ 
And they’re like: ‘You have to. It’s your job.’
And I’m like: ‘Oh yeah. Shit.’”

Photo tagged as: reblog - Reblog from humansofnewyork

It’s all a plot, you see. It’s all connected. Central American violence, chemtrails, the Hindenburg, the Builderbergs, the Builderbearberkshops. First you convince little orphan children to get themselves smuggled into Texas, then you give them “benefits,” things like, I don’t know, not being fired out of a cannon, and then they all grow up to vote for Democrats. Key to this plan, mind you, the key for all of this to work and for the Democratic Caliphate of Texas ‘n Related Environs to rise, is the reliance on Republicans to continue to be horrible, horrible assholes toward all brown people everywhere. Luckily—and this is where the chemtrials come in—Obama seems to have that part well in hand.

America’s Dumbest Congressman says immigrants are Obama plot to take over Texas (via wilwheaton)

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